she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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