What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
