Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
