oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
