Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
