He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
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