I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
