chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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