STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
