My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
