chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
