Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize