Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
