Say something about gay babies.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Boobs are out for the taking
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
