the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
