i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
