Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
