dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
