You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
