i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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