my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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