Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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