When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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