White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
