i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
