I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i dont even know how to be here
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
