he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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