So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize