this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
