You really coming over, don't trick.
Plan B is the new Plan A
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
