thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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