dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
