you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
