btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
