I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
