we have officially lost it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
