Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
