you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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