I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
