I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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