Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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