love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
