So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
