i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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