I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
