it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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