Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
