Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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