One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
