fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize