This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
