Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
and she was petting her beer can
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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