am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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