it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Damn victory sex feels great
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
