Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize