Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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