My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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