We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize