Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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