He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
