remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When are your genitals available?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
