I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
