we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
