If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
