if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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