My liver just broke up with me...
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
