heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
